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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 6:39:22 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

dancingmonica.com Column on the right, 3rd from bottom - - "Look at all the horny interns". Great! Click on it! startingpage.com

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 7:04:06 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

There once was a gal named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky 'Twas "Hail to the Chief" on this flute made of beef that stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski, Since you look such a mess, use the hem of your dress And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky. Lewinsky and Clinton have shown what Kaczynski must surely have known: that an intern is better than a bomb in a letter given the choice of how to be blown.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 7:05:32 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic? A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 7:07:41 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George Bush were on the Titanic. The Titanic started to sink. "Women and children first," said George Bush " Screw the woman and children, " said Al Gore " O.K.," said Bill Clinton, " but will we have enough time?"

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 7:17:24 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Once Bill Clinton visited a elementary school to talk to a group of 3rd graders. He said to them, "Today we are going to discuss the difference between a tragedy, a great loss and an accident". Then he said, "Can anyone give me an example of a tragedy?" A little boy raises his hand and says, "If a kid runs out in the street after a ball and gets hit by a car." Clinton says, "No, that would be an accident. Can anyone else try?" A little girl raises her hand and says, "If a busload of kids drove off a cliff." Clinton says, "No, that would be a great loss. Come on, anyone else?" A boy raises his hand and says and says, "If you and Mrs. Clinton was on a plane and it blew up." Then Clinton says, "Well, Yes, but can you tell me why it would be considered a tragedy?" And the little boy says, "Well, it wouldn't have been an accident, and it sure as heck wouldn't have been a great loss." Shall we call a cease fire, ToiletPaper?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 8:29:02 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

Hillary Clinton went for her annual exam. After the exam, the OB-GYN told her that she was pregnant, and in great shape. Hillary couldn't believe the news and stormed out of the office. She rushed to her limo and picked up the phone to call the Oval Office. "You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" There is a silence on the other end. Finally, she hears Bill's voice. "Who is this?''

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 8:29:12 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst into the room shouting, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news! Nick asked me to marry him. He is like the biggest hunk in Washington. We are supposed to get married next month. Bill took Chelsea in the back and said, "Chelsea, you're mother, although an ideal administrator and public speaker, has never had much to offer in the sack, so, as you might have heard, I have been known to fool around with other ladies on occassion. Your boyfriend Nick happens to be the product of one of my love making sessions. He is my son and thusly, he is your half-brother." Chelsea ran out of the office screaming, "Not another brother!" She rushed to her mother's side, telling her about her all about dad's shameful behavior and how every man she dated turns out to be one of her father's illegitimate sons. Hillary began to laugh and said, "Don't pay any attention to him. He isn't really your father anyway."

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 8:29:34 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

How many Arkansas policemen does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Clinton does all the screwing!

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 8:30:27 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, “There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die.” Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash. When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, “Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you.” Hillary said, “Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all.” She was about to leave, but then she said, “Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?” Bill replied, “That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in.”

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26847)	2/25/2003 8:32:00 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton? A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference!