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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 9:42:03 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

Complete this famous Clinton quotation: "I did not have sexual relations with that _____." a) Woman b) Large woman c) Barn animal d) Cheerleading squad

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 9:43:10 PM
From: ManyMoose	Respond to of 62549

OK, Tigger, you finally said something funny.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 10:20:34 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

Senator Hillary Clinton snuck off to visit a fortuneteller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortuneteller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. "Will I be acquitted?"

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 10:21:07 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

What's Bill Clinton's definition of safe sex? When Hillary's out of town!

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 10:21:42 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62549

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 10:22:31 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A little boy wanted to be Bill Clinton for Halloween, but he couldn't get door-to-door with his pants around his ankles.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (26875)	2/25/2003 10:23:03 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ''We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.'' Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?'' St. Peter replied, ''Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.'''