Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Siber who wrote (27672)	4/16/2003 1:36:39 PM
From: Carolyn	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

How To Mess With The IRS Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a own the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side). Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check. On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess. If you send two checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped. These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the man. These methods are only recommended when you OWE money.

To: Siber who wrote (27672)	4/16/2003 4:14:01 PM
From: Knighty Tin	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62569

Siber, Sounds like the Republican Party platform from 1920-1941, when even those dimwits had to wake up. <g> OJ: An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I'm Mats Sundin, the best NHL hockey player, the Leafs need me, I can't afford to die...So he took the first pack and left the plane. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former president of the United States, I am also the most ambitious woman in the world and I am a New York Senator." She just took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, Jean Cretien, said: "I'm the Brains of Canada, I have a great responsibility being the leader of the greatest nation in the world. And above all I'm the smartest Prime Minister in Canadian history, so Canadians won't let me die". So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out of the plane. The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year-old school boy, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, as a Catholic I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The little boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. The Brains of Canada has just jumped with my school bag"