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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jack Hartmann who wrote (28032)	5/29/2003 10:25:35 AM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62543

NEVER SAY THIS TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

To: Jack Hartmann who wrote (28032)	5/29/2003 10:26:35 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62543

A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

To: Jack Hartmann who wrote (28032)	5/31/2003 11:53:06 AM
From: Jack Hartmann	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62543

A Mother comes home from work to find her daughter completely naked on the sofa. "Dear your Naked!?!" "No Mother, its my love dress" "No Dear, your butt naked!" "No mother its my love dress. My boyfriend loves it when i wear my love dress with my perfume on and with romantic music playing, he gets all romantic and makes hours of love to me - he cant get enough of me" So the mother takes note of this, so the next day she gets completely naked, puts on some perfume, puts on some romantic music and waits for her husband to come home. He enters the house to find her butt naked. "Dear, Why are you naked???" "its my love dress" "needs ironing, whats for tea?"