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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (31694)	6/10/2004 12:14:24 AM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62593

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes," says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times...just put me down for a five."

To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (31694)	6/10/2004 6:43:58 AM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62593

KIDS TODAY THINK ON THEIR FEET: TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! *********** TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! ********* TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me! ********* TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ********* TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen.... Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ********* TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." ********* TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand." ********* TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM: No sir, I don't have to,. . .my Mom is a good cook. ********* TEACHER: Morris, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! *********** TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher