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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ManyMoose who wrote (228)	7/30/2004 12:37:07 AM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right then, I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm too drunk to do that."

To: ManyMoose who wrote (228)	7/30/2004 3:02:41 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Simple. ALL lawyers are jokes. You hadn't noticed? You ain't a lawyer, a ya? WATCH IT, BUDDY! Don't forget, the ... ... for President is also a lawyer. My love of lawyer jokes long predates the ... picking a XXXXXX for their veep candidate. This is strictly bipartisan. Tricky Dick was a lawyer, too, remember? That should tell you all you need know of the breed. (I will leave it to one of our fellow posters to attempt to defend that cute little rascal.) ========================================================== Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.