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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (257)	8/3/2004 2:07:31 AM
From: ManyMoose	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1755

Whew! I thought you were going to nail me for telling a p.......l joke since two famous r..s bailed Boston last week. +++++++++++ Guy walks into a bar with a huge alligator on a leash, which he seated on the stool next to him. "Do you serve lawyers here?" he asks. Bartender says "Yep." Guy says "OK, I'll take a Budweiser and bring a lawyer for my alligator."

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (257)	8/3/2004 10:02:07 AM
From: mph	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1755

that one made me lol. IMO, it happened because they're men........... They're so predictable. My favorite kind of adversaries..... :-) _____________________________ Q. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? A. So men can understand them. Q. What is the difference between government bonds and men? A. Government bonds mature. Q. What’s a man’s idea of helping with the housework? A. Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. Q. What’s the difference between a man and E.T.? A. ET phoned home. Q. Why is a psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? A. When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there. Q. What did God say after he created man? A. "I can do better than this." Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship? A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle. Q. What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes. Q. How do men exercise at the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal? A. A hot dog and a six-pack. Q. How are men like noodles? A. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough. Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? A. When the crew gets lost in space, at least women will ask for directions.