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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (514)	9/1/2004 5:25:24 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

The matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years. “Mr. Avery, don’t wait until it's too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you’ll meet and be married in no time!” says the matchmaker. “Don’t bother,” replies Mr. Avery, “I’ve two sisters at home who look after all my needs.” “That’s all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.” “I said ’two sisters’. I didn’t say they were mine.”

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (514)	9/1/2004 5:28:49 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Laz, What makes you think you found it first? - Holly Trust me. :-) ====================================================== An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining cabins at an old motel. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. He says to himself, "Hmm. How does one put out a fire? One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point, isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. This could be accomplished by applying water." So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bedsheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. He says: "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to sleep. ======================================================= OK. Maybe you needed to take my college course in differential equations to appreciate that. :-)