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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (1)	9/23/1997 11:49:00 AM
From: Al Lewis	Respond to of 2733

Another SI joke chat line with over 3000 replies- Subject 7983 About half are jokes, some good, some bad. You might find them an interesting break from the Corel thread. Hope you find some good ones. Al

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (1)	12/31/1997 7:38:00 PM
From: Brian	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

Vanni: I am curious, was your potato peeling course a six month course, or did you take the 20 year program? A Wall Street Journal employee compiled the following list of actual headlines that appeared in various papers in 1996 that the Journal staff rated as the most entertaining: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge Include Your Children When Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Clinton Wins on Budget; But More Lies Ahead Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax Plane Too Close to Ground; Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Two Sisters Reunite After 18 Years in Checkout Counter War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Brian

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (1)	8/12/1998 3:40:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Dinner A man and his wife are visiting Mexico and go to the local restaurant for dinner. They can't seen to decide on what to have so they spend a lot of time looking over the menu. While they are looking, they hear a trumpet fanfare, and out of the kitchen comes the cook with a big platter. He is accompanied by two or three waiters and with much ceremony, they place the platter on the next table and uncover it to reveal two rather large rounded pieces of meat surrounded by vegetables and lots of garnish. The man and wife ask their waiter what that was all about and the waiter explains that the next table was just served the house specialty--the testicles of the bull from the day's bullfight. The man and his wife ask for the same dish and the waiter explains that there is only one bullfight per day so they can't have that dish tonight, however, they could be the persons of honor tomorrow night and that makes the couple happy. They return the next day and await the feast. There is the trumpet fanfare, and the big procession and all the hoop-de-do and they set the platter down and uncover it only to reveal two rather small morsels. When the man asks the waiter, " what gives--yesterday's were so much larger?" To which the waiter replies, "Well senor, you must understand, some days the bull wins."

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (1)	11/2/1999 7:34:00 PM
From: Bob (pugs411)	Respond to of 2733

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? . . . . . . . . . . . They can't get all the water in the little package.