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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mph who wrote (37722)	11/1/2007 10:32:14 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62576

Have you heard that more and more laboratories are switching from using white rats to using lawyers in their experiments? Apparently, there are some things a rat simply won't do... ========================================================== 99% of Lawyers give the other 1% a bad name! ========================================================== How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road? The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk. ========================================================== There's the group of terrorists who hijacked a planeload full of lawyers headed to a convention. They're threatening to release one every hour until their demands are met... ========================================================== What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities. ========================================================== What's black and looks good on a lawyer? A doberman!

To: mph who wrote (37722)	11/1/2007 10:40:12 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62576

Message 24019164

To: mph who wrote (37722)	11/1/2007 11:52:55 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62576

Rules for hunting lawyers California state attorney season and bag limits 1300.01 GENERAL 1. Any person with a valid California State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships. 7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals. 9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. 10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin. 11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. BAG LIMITS 1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2 2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 3 3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5 4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2 5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT 6. Cut-throat 2 7. Back-stabbing Whiner 2 8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2 9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty