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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: freeus who wrote (3585)10/22/1997 7:54:00 PM
From: Ross  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 62558
 
This is a raunchy joke, not for the easily offended:

>A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.
>After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting
>pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
>should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the
>slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his
>ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are
>pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and
>will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
>The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
>conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the
>pigs. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the
>woods, has sex with them all. Then he brings them back and goes to
>bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that
>they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try
>didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to
>the woods, does each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and
>goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just
>standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load
>them up and drives them out to the woods. He spends all day with the
>pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next
>morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs.
> He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are
>laying in the mud. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one
>of them
>is honking the horn."



To: freeus who wrote (3585)10/23/1997 8:58:00 PM
From: Miles Rhyne Hoffman, CFA  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62558
 
The English teacher's assignment I heard about was a 2000 word term paper on creativity....

A guy handed in two pictures and on the back was written "A picture is worth a thousand words. Here are two."

He too is supposed to have earned an A.