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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Wowzer who wrote (3859)	11/11/1997 3:55:00 PM
From: Biggie Smalls	1 Recommendation Respond to of 62558

ACTUAL ENGLISH SUBTITLES USED IN FILMS MADE IN HONG KONG 1.ÿ I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2.ÿ Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3.ÿ Gun wounds again? 4.ÿ Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5.ÿ A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 6.ÿ Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! 7.ÿ Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. 8.ÿ Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? 9.ÿ Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 10. You always use violence. ÿÿÿ I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. 11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! 12. You daring lousy guy. 13. Beat him out of recognizable shape! 14. I have been scared shitless too much lately. 15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair! 16. Beware!ÿ Your bones are going to be disconnected. 17. The bullets inside are very hot.ÿ Why do I feel so cold? 18. How can you use my intestines as a gift? 19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. ÿÿÿ I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods ÿÿÿ and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. 20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman!ÿ I have captured you by the short ÿÿÿ rabbitsÿ and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist ÿÿÿ for a thorough extermination. 21. Greetings, large black person.ÿ Let us not forget to form a ÿÿÿ team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of ÿÿÿ our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

To: Wowzer who wrote (3859)	11/11/1997 3:59:00 PM
From: Jay Bilotta	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform sexually anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor says, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke........The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says "All you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!" The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news....... So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he gets an enormous erection. He taps his wife on the shoulder to proudly show her. His wife turns over, looks and says "Wow! But what did you say '123' for?"