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Politics : View from the Center and Left -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bentway who wrote (193053)	7/2/2012 12:24:15 PM
From: Wharf Rat	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 541912

"Your adult woes really could be mom and dad's fault, assuming they spanked you." They did. I survived; I persevered, I won the game, except the one time I put a tack in my pants.

To: bentway who wrote (193053)	7/2/2012 12:37:26 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 541912

But here is another way to think about that- it could be that people who inflict corporal punishment have mental issues- which is why they can't find more productive ways to channel their anger- and they pass their genes on to their children. So there could be a variety of reasons for the mental health issues we see in the children of physically aggressive parents.

To: bentway who wrote (193053)	7/2/2012 1:49:23 PM
From: JohnM	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 541912

Spanking Can Hurt Future Mental Health Ah, so that explains me. ;-) Child raising culture of the late 30s and early 40s in Texas. Everyone did it, including school teachers and principles.

To: bentway who wrote (193053)	7/2/2012 2:51:25 PM
From: koan	Respond to of 541912

That is a subject I feel very strongly about. I was never spanked and was a really good kid. From day one it never occurred to me to spank my kids. The thought of it even bothers me. Not only did I not spank either kid, I was very careful to never make them afraid of me for fear of breaking their spirit. Spanking is a barbaric idea. We argued at times, but on equal ground and if I was wrong I also apologized. Three of the most important things in raising kids is to protect their egos, not break them, and show them the importance of compassion by example. Both kids thank me all the time for raising them gently. And both of my kids turned out as well as any I know of. They are kind, are very funny and always minded and did their homework. Not once did I ever have to tell either of them to do their home work. I never had any trouble with either of them. So why would one do it for no good reason? Someone once said: "violence is used by people with a lack of imagination". My daughters also do not spank their kids (one is a step kid), but use humor and distraction which works just fine. My first wife got spanked a lot and she has always suffered emotionally from it and is very manipulative because fear of spanking forced her to lie. But her father was also a right wing asshole. She once told me my best quality was that I was kind. I told her, so are you and she said: "no I am not"? I still remember Scout in "To Kill a Mockingbird" (read it 50 years ago) going back to get her jacket from boo ray because she did not want Atticus to be disappointed in her. When kids have a strong bond with the parent, and are raised with wisdom, they try to cooperate with the parent and please them. Worked for my mother, me and my kids. In Sweden spanking a kid is illegal. <<Spanking Can Hurt Future Mental Health KIDS SHOULD NEVER FACE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT: RESEARCHER By Matt Cantor, Newser Staff http://www.newser.com/story/149300/spanking-can-hurt-future-mental-health.html Posted Jul 2, 2012 5:17 AM CDT