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Politics : Tell a joke - anything goes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mad2 who wrote (788)	6/22/2018 3:46:58 PM
From: Stock Puppy	1 Recommendation Recommended By TechKim Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 13881

My comments: WHY TEACHERS DRINK So they can perspire! The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are reportedly genuine answers (from 16 year olds)…..edit If so our society is doomed Depends... Q. Name the four seasons A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Aha! America is spared! Doom is on some foreign country! What true red white and blue American (United States of that is) would provide an answer like that? In the grand old USA, the fourth season is ketchup, not (ugh) vinegar! Q. How is dew formed A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Works for teachers, why not plants? Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Well, that's true - last time I purchased a house, I showed the mortgage company representative how well endowed I am and she closed the door and a few hours later, I got the loan! Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election True. However only the wife gets a vote (usually she votes "no"). Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Heck - how do you keep your carpet still on the stairs? Carpet tacks? No one likes taxes! Q... What happens to your body as you age A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Mostly true - sometimes your bowels see stars - then you get universal. Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) There you go ! Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A.. Premature death Another no-brainer! Q. What is artificial insemination A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Variety is the season of life... Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple,but brilliant) Uh - yup. Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U - And if you have all 5 bowels, you go intercontinental! - Borax contains the heart - why the "20 mule team" makes a perfect valentines present! - Missing in the answer though - The Pinky is next to the Brainium. When they get too close however, they try to take over the word. Q. What is the fibula? A.. A small lie That was humerus! Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A.. Nearby Of course! Q. What is the most common form of birth control A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work) Depends on the locale - a condominium in NYC would assist in getting dates for sure and would not be effective as a contraceptive. In Hoboken, not so much and would be as effective as abstinence. Actually, the same thing. Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Right by the cutting edge of things. Q. What is a seizure? A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Yes. Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Another correct answer: LaGuardia in NYC or JFK. If you've been through it, you know what I eman. Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant) Need to be careful here - because seven eight nine. AND...…………………... Q. What is a turbine? A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (now we’re getting somewhere) And then he is able to do adultery.