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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Cheeky Kid who wrote (4515)	1/28/1998 9:00:00 AM
From: rony3355	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62549

A few more clintonisms Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common? A: They were both upset when Bill finished first. Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex? A: When Hillary is out of town. Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic? A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic. Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House? A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride. President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" exclaims the President. "It's this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?" the aide replies. "Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President. Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude? A: "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes." Q: How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down? A: He married her. President French-Fry was out jogging when a Hooker standing on the corner hailed him. "Hey Mr. President! Fifty bucks!" "No, no." Bill replied with a grin, "Five bucks!" and kept on jogging. This exchange soon became a part of the President's normal routine. Each day as he'd approach the corner, the hooker would yell out, "Hey Mr. President...Fifty Bucks!" and Bill would holler back, "No, Five Bucks!" Well, one day, Hillary decided she wanted to go jogging with Bill. As they neared the corner, Bill suddenly realized what a terrible scene was about to happen. Sure enough, there was the hooker, and just like all the other times she smiled and waved and yelled out, "Hey Mr. President......See what you get for Five Bucks!" Q: What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin? A: A girl that can run faster than the Governor. Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend. Q: What's the new game at the White House? A: Swallow the leader Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East? A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.