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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: J. P. who wrote (4623)	2/6/1998 4:31:00 PM
From: S K	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

A man went to a strange town to be the guest speaker at a business meeting. When he arrived at his Motel, he found he had a lot of time before the meeting so he got the directions for a nearby golf course from the clerk. While playing on the front nine, he thought over his impending speech and became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained the situation and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole". He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened. and he approached her again with the same request. She said "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th". Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?" She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No I wouldn't." "Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell Tampax." With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said "See I knew you would laugh." "That's not what I'm laughing at" he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

To: J. P. who wrote (4623)	2/6/1998 5:58:00 PM
From: Yuri Aminov	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendants' ladies room - but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There, next to the paper roll, were four buttons marked respectively: "WW", "WA", "PP" and "ATR" Making the mistake soooo many men make of not listening to a woman, when his curiosity got the best of him, he totally disregarded what the flight attendant had said. He carefully pressed the WW button, immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought, wow, these gals really have it nice. So, a little more boldly he pressed the WA button. Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably. Ah, he thought, no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kind of services! So he pushed the next button, PP, with anticipation. A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc. Man, this is great he thought, as he reached out for the ATR button. When he awoke in the hospital the morphine was just wearing off, so totally confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out where he was and what had happened. He explained the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies room on the plane. You're in a hospital the nurse explained. Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the Automatic Tampon Removal button. By the way, your penis is under your pillow. ============= Ouch, that really must have hurt!!!

To: J. P. who wrote (4623)	2/10/1998 2:19:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62550

Two Minnesotans were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying, tear were pouring down his face. The other Minnesotan asked, " Why are you crying?" The first one replied, " I came here for blood test." The second one asked, "So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" The first guy replied, "No. Not that. During the blood test they cut my finger." Hearing this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the other, "Why are you crying?" Then the second guy replied, "I have come for my urine test."