Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (4720)	2/19/1998 9:25:00 PM
From: Buckey	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Henpecked Line - up at gates of Heaven: Apparently at the Gates of Heaven there are two lineups for men. ONE is for henpecked husbands and one is for NON_henpecked husbands. ST. Peter looks out one morning and sees two lineups. The one for henpecked husbands was as long as the eye could see. The one for NON-henpecked husbands had only one bewildered man standing there. St. Peter was also bewildered and asked the man " What are you doing standing in this line up?" The man replied " I don't know, this is where my wife told me to stand"

To: John Messbauer who wrote (4720)	2/20/1998 2:29:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

In the days when you couldn't count on a public facility to have indoor plumbing, an English woman was planning a trip to Germany. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for water closet. She wrote the schoolmaster inquiring into the location of the nearest WC. The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply: Dear Madam, I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all. With deepest regards, The Schoolmaster

To: John Messbauer who wrote (4720)	2/20/1998 2:33:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the white house. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office and Bill answered. Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!!!" The President remained silent. Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN SO AND SO? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!" Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"

To: John Messbauer who wrote (4720)	2/20/1998 2:34:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Be careful! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER 1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? 5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman? 6). What does a dog do that you can step into? 7). What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 8). What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? 9). What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages? 10). What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? ANSWERS: 1. (talk) 2. (legs) 3. (a twenty dollar bill) 4. (firetruck) 5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 6. (pants) 7. (fork) 8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 9. (grit) 10. (last name) >>