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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: burner who wrote (4796)	3/1/1998 1:31:00 AM
From: Buzz Lightyear	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Dr. Seuss Meets Zippergate I am Starr, Starr I are I'm a brilliant barr-i-ster, I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky? Did you grope her in your house? Did you grope beneath her blouse? Did she give you gifts and ties? Were you spied by prying eyes? I did not do that here or there! I did not do that anywhere! I did not do that in a chair! I went not near her gorgeous hair! I did not join- e-ven for fun, The Mile High Club in Air Force One. So stow your feathers and your tar, I did not do her, Starr you are! Did you smile? Did you flirt? Did you peek beneath her skirt? And did you tell the girl to lie? When called upon to testify? That is it! You've gone too far ! I do not like you, Starr you are! I will not answer any more ! In fact, I think I'll start a war! The public's easy to distract, When bombs are falling on Iraq.

To: burner who wrote (4796)	3/3/1998 2:24:00 AM
From: xclently	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

(Notes for / from the Doctor:) You may be in the medical field if...... >1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you >2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change >3. You find humor in other people's stupidity >4. You believe in aerial spraying of prozac >5. Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint >6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis >7. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce >8. You believe CHOCOLATE is a food group >*9. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "sure is quiet around here" >10. You compliment a complete stranger on their veins >11. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to an "eternal care facility" >12. Your idea of a really good time is duelling shock rooms >13. You don't think that a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate for >some patients >*14. You ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide ... Getting it right the first time" >15. You have had to leave a patients room before laughing uncontrollably >16. You think caffeine should be available in IV form >17. You have ever restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience >18. You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis >19. You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the lab >20. You believe the waiting room should be supplied with a valium salt lick >21. When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group >22. You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks english >23. When ordering labs, the attending physician wants to order a"dumbshit profile" >*24. You have been exposed to so many x-rays, you tell someone "Don't worry about birth control." >25. Your patient states "I have no idea how it got stuck in there." >26. You have used the words "healthcare reform" to strike fear into >co-workers >27. You can identify a "positive teeth to tattoo ratio" >28. You have your weekends off marked and planned for a year Hope this helps~ Peter