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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: xclently who wrote (4802)	3/3/1998 11:18:00 AM
From: bob	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The grave sight was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral/cremation was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

To: xclently who wrote (4802)	4/8/1998 7:28:00 PM
From: xclently	Respond to of 62549

A random compilation of bumper stickers, quotables, and questions kids ask: If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. How do you tell me when you run out of invisible ink? Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Wear short sleeves - Support your right to bare arms! OK, so what's the speed of dark? Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. Hope this helps... Peter