Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: GGekko who wrote (4812)	3/4/1998 12:20:00 AM
From: Zencone	Respond to of 62549

A United Airlines flight was cancelled at the Stapleton airport in Denver.For rebooking, a flight attendant was doing the best she could, for a long line of tired and angry passengers. Suddenly,an angry passenger pushed his way in front of the line,slapped his ticket on the counter, and said "I have to be on this flight and it has to be first class!" The attendant said politely. "I'm sorry sir I will be happy to help you , but I've got to help these folks first". Unimpressed he asked loudly, so that the line behind him could hear "Do you have any idea who I am?" The attendant smiled and grabbed her public microphone and said ---"Attention please, we have a passenger WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS, if anyone can help him find his identity please come to united airlines gate 28." Every one in the line started laughing hysterically. The man glared at the attendant, grit his teeth and said, " FUCK YOU!" The attendant smiled and said "I'm sorry sir, but you will have to stand in line for that too.". \|

To: GGekko who wrote (4812)	3/4/1998 6:11:00 PM
From: Steve LaRiviere	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Does this one count? A Priest, a lawyer, and a college student were flying in a small plane when suddenly the pilot jumps out of the cockpit and says "I hate to tell you this, but the plane is losing oil pressure, we're too far away from the nearest airport to even have a chance to make it, and there are only three parachutes. I hate to be selfish, but I have twin babies and a loving wife and I can't leave them without a father and husband, sorry." Then he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the airplane. The lawyer gets up and says "Well, I'm a lawyer, I make $900,000 a year, so I'm obviously a lot smarter, therefore more important than either of you two, sorry." Then he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the airplane. The Priest turns to the college student and says "Son, you take the last parachute. I'm an old man, I've seen the world, I've dedicated my life to the Lord, but you are a young man and you have your whole life ahead of you. Go now, my friend." The college student says "Don't sweat it Father, we both have parachutes. Mr. smart-ass lawyer just jumped out of the plane with my knapsack."

To: GGekko who wrote (4812)	3/4/1998 6:56:00 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62549

This guy is flying TWA and the gorgeous flight attendant wheels the beverage cart by him and asks, "Sir, would you like some TWA coffee?" "No thanks" "Would you like some TWA milk?" "No thanks" "Would you like a TWA soft drink?" "No thanks" "TWA juice?" "No thanks" "Well sir, is there anything I CAN get you? "Yeah. I'd like some of your T-W-A-T."

To: GGekko who wrote (4812)	3/6/1998 11:04:00 PM
From: Paul MacLatchy	Respond to of 62549

The most beautiful stewardess (pc=attendant) you've ever seen is coasting down the aisle of a jumbo jet at 35,000 feet. She sees one old man sitting alone with a pissed off look on his face. She immediately goes over and asks the man if she could get him one of their famous TWA pillows. The old man just shrugs no. "How about one of our famous TWA blankets?" - No again. "How about some of famous TWA coffee?" - No again. About ready to give up she says, "Well what can I get you then?" "Some of your famous TWA tea" smirks the old man. Ouch!!!!