Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bob who wrote (4911)	3/10/1998 6:57:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. "No, you're not," answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb. "No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan. "I've had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan. "No, you haven't" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time. Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so." In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty."I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin agrees." In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, "Who the hell is Bill Clinton" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A young couple was out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all of your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car over. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked." He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your crotch with that and go get help from the gas station down the road." She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!" The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies withsome astonishment, "I think he's too far in!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year." The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, & comments, "See! That was more than 5 times a month!" The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year." Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison. The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!" The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!" The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells back, "Sure, once a day!....... But ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!!!"