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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: BamaReb who wrote (4932)	3/11/1998 8:04:00 PM
From: Steve LaRiviere	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man decides to go bow hunting and as he's in the woods he comes around a bend and spots a huge grizzly bear eating blueberries. He wonders what to do as the bear goes about his business. He thinks to himself that he's a excellent shot, and if he gets the bear directly in the heart it should take him down. He carefully takes his aim and manages to get the bear directly in the chest. The bear lets out a mighty growl, looks down at the arrow, grabs it with his huge paw and throws it to the ground. Then, much to the hunter's dismay, he spots the hunter, snarls and starts running in his direction! The hunter screams "Holy shit!" and turns to runs towards his pick-up, but the bear runs him down in seconds. As the bear pins him down it says "Look here, you little piss-ant human, I didn't think that was funny! Just for that, you're going to give me a blowjob!" With that the bear grabs the hunter's head and pulls it down into his crotch. After the dirty deed is done, the bear tosses the hunter into the bushes and walks off into the woods. The hunter gets up, spitting and swearing, and runs to his truck. He goes to his glovebox and takes out his .44 Magnum and runs back into the woods muttering "I'm gonna kill him!!!" He spots the bear at a stream, pawing at salmon. He fires and hits the bear in the head. The bear turns and looks at him and starts to charge! The hunter lets out a scream and turns to run, but once again the bear runs him down in seconds. Pinning him to the ground, the bear looks in his eyes and says "You just don't learn, do you? Just for that, I'm going to f*** you up the butt!" The bear then turns him onto his back like a rag doll, rips down his jeans and does his ugly deed. When the bear is through, he tosses the man into the bushes and walks off into the woods. This time the man is enraged! He staggers back to his pick-up, drives home 100 mph, gets his $4000 elephant gun and races back to the woods muttering "I'm not screwing around now, I'm going to blow him to bits! I swear on my mother's life I'm going to dance on his corpse!!!" He drives his truck into the woods, jumps out and stomps over to the bear, who is just starting to nibble on a twenty point buck he just took down. The hunter walks up to the bear, points the gun in the bear's face and pulls both triggers. His stomach drops when he hears the clicks reminding him that he forgot to load the gun. The bear stands up, calmly takes the gun away from him and tosses it in the bushes, looks him in the eye and says "Something tells me you don't come in these woods just to go hunting..."