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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bob who wrote (5078)	3/24/1998 1:10:00 PM
From: ken whited	Respond to of 62549

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said.... 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea.

To: bob who wrote (5078)	3/24/1998 1:38:00 PM
From: ken whited	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Three blondes died and are at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter askes the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful." "Wrong!", replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde he same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes. "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter incredulously. "Of course. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus was ready to complete his ministry on earth and ate his last supper, the Passover meal, with his disciples. after that evening, he was betrayed and turned over to a Jewish mob by one of those disciples. After a show trial, the Romans tortured him, made him wear a crown of thorns, took him to be crucified and then he was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. Finally, he was stabbed in the side to make sure he was dead. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."