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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: S K who wrote (5224)	4/7/1998 1:40:00 PM
From: DScottD	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man and his wife are playing golf together at a posh country club. They get to the 11th hole, which has a magnificent home off the left side of the fairway with glass sliding French doors facing the fairway. The husband warns his wife to be careful with her tee shot because the glass doors would cost thousands of dollars to replace. The wife fires away and her shot predictably is a nasty snap hook that crashes through the glass door. Deciding it would be best to get the episode behind them, the man and woman go to the house to apologize and offer restitution for the busted glass door. When they get to the house, they see broken glass all over the place, a nice china vase broken on the floor and a man sitting in an easy chair dressed somewhat peculiarly. The husband begins to offer his apology when the man stops him. "No need to apologize. You see, I'm a genie and I had been trapped in that vase you see on the floor for 10,000 years. When your ball crashed through the door, it knocked the vase to the ground, broke it and out I came. To show my thanks, I'll grant you 3 wishes." The husband and wife looked at each other in amazement at their good fortune and thought of what they wanted to wish for. The husband spoke first, "I wish to have a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." The genie replied, "Your wish is my command." The wife then chimed in, "I wish for a house in every country in the world." Again, the genie granted the wish. The husband and wife then told the genie that, since they had everything they could ever want, the genie could have the last wish. So the genie said, "You know. I've been cooped up in that bottle for 10,000 years all by myself. I wish for 2 hours alone with your wife." The couple thought about it for a while and decided that was the least they could do in exchange for a million dollars a year and a house in every country in the world. So the genie and the woman proceeded upstairs to the bedroom. When the two hours were up, the genie and the woman were laying in bed and by the look on the genie's face, she could tell that he had a good time. The genie asked the woman, "How old did you say your husband is?" The woman replied, "35." "Imagine that," the genie exclaimed, "35 years old and he still believes in genies!"

To: S K who wrote (5224)	4/8/1998 1:34:00 AM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Deductive logic Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving" New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly" Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?" New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning" Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that? "New Neighbor: "Let me give you an example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog." Neighbor 1: "That is right" New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family. Neighbor 1: "Right again" New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife" Neighbor 1: "Correct" New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual" Neighbor 1: "Yup" New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning" Neighbor 1: "Cool" Later that same day... Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door" Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?" Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job" Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?" Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University" Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that" Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?" Neighbor 2: "No" Neighbor 1: "Fag."