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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5291)	4/15/1998 12:56:00 PM
From: bob	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Some interesting pranks you can pull on your friends and/or enemies... LOST KEYS: Get a hold of some old useless keys (car, house,etc.). Place victim's name, phone number and $50.00 reward... if found and returned. Drop the keys in one of the less desirable areas of town. GARAGE SALE: Place an ad in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisions, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6:00 a.m. Come early! X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS: Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victims carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped-inspected by airport security officials. This one will make your sides hurt from laughter, if present during the inspection. I like this prank for both male and female victims. PAPER MONEY: Write a sexually oriented solicitation message, victim's name and phone number (inviting a phone call) on the edge of several pieces of paper money before spending them. The victim will receive many eye popping inquiries. DOGS: Purchase a silent dog whistle. In the early hours of the morning (2am-4am) go near the victim's house and blow the silent whistle and the dog will begin to bark uncontrollably until the owner awakes and disciplines the animal. When the owner goes back to bed repeat the process again. TAG ALONG ROAD KILL - Find a dead dog or cat along side a road. Take a 12 foot long rope, tie one end around the animal and the other end around the back axle of the victims automobile. Balance the dog or cat on the back axle of the automobile. As the victim drives, the animal will drop off the axle and will be dragged about 8 foot behind the automobile horrifying fellow motorists. This one kills me! ANIMAL POO-POO - With plastic gloves on find some animal poo-poo and place it under the door handles of the victim's automobile. The end result is a sticky situation. NOISY APARTMENT NEIGHBORS - Place a clock radio or portable stereo in a large cardboard box. Place open end of box next to the wall adjoining the victim's apartment. Tune the radio to whatever obnoxious station you choose. Turn-on when you are away and turn-off when you return home. BOWEL CONTROL PROBLEMS - Place a Baby Ruth candy bar next to victim while they are in bed asleep. Body heat will melt the chocolate to the point that when the victim awakes they will think they had an embarrassing accident. This is a great, brother-sister or college dorm prank. FAX MACHNES - Write whatever you wish on 9 pages of 8 1/2 by 11 inch paper and tape them together (end to end). Dial the victim's fax number and start sending the pages through. After page two has been transmitted, tape the top of page 1 to the bottom of page 9 making a continuous loop. The document will continue to cycle until the victim's fax machine has run out of paper. Be sure and disable your phone number from being printed on the fax and also disable caller I.D. This prank is great to get even with a business or individual who has somehow cheated you.

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5291)	4/15/1998 12:58:00 PM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Having a lousy day? Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone was still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it...half of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer... ...and believe me, Mister, I TOLD HER!"