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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MENSO who wrote (5472)	5/4/1998 12:32:00 PM
From: Gary H	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

>WORDPERFECT FOR DUMMIES > >This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the >help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the >WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause". >Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a >caller: > >"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" > >"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." > >"What sort of trouble?" > >"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." > >"Went away?" > >"They disappeared." > >"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" > >"Nothing." > >"Nothing?" > >"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." > >"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" > >"How do I tell?" > >"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" > >"What's a sea-prompt?" > >"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" > >"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type." > >"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" > >"What's a monitor?" > >"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a >little light that tells you when it's on?" > >"I don't know." > >"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord >goes into it. Can you see that?" > >"Yes, I think so." > >"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the >wall." > >".......Yes, it is." > >"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two >cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" > >"No." > >"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other >cable." > >".......Okay, here it is." > >"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of >your computer." > >"I can't reach." > >"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" > >"No." > >"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? " > >"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." > >"Dark?" > >"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from >the window." > >"Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." > >"No? Why not?" > >"Because there's a power outage." > >"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you >still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" > >"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." > >"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was >when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." > > >"Really? Is it that bad?" > >"Yes, I'm afraid it is." > >"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" > >"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." >