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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gary H who wrote (5594)	5/20/1998 12:33:00 AM
From: Garfield	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very attractive redhead behind the wheel. "Ma'am," he said, "I'm afraid we're going to have to give you a breathalyzer test to see whether or not you've been drinking." The test was taken and as the office eyed the results, he said: "Lady, you've had a couple of stiff ones." "That's amazing!" the girl cried. "You mean it shows that too!"

To: Gary H who wrote (5594)	5/20/1998 12:39:00 AM
From: Garfield	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

When the golfer went to retrieve his ball from deep in the woods, he was startled to come across a witch stirring a huge cauldron. Observing the steaming green brew with fascination, he finally asked, "What's in there?" "A magic brew," hissed the witch. "One swig and you'll play better golf than anyone in the world. You'll be unbeatable." "Fantastic!" exclaimed the golfer, his eyes lighting up. "Let me have some." "Hold your horses," cackled the hag gleefully. "There's a catch. You'll pay for it with your sex life: it'll become the worst in the world." The man stopped to think it over. "No sex...great golf" he mused. "Give me a cup." Finding his ball, the golfer headed out of the woods, finished his game in no time, and went on to whip the club champion that afternoon. Soon he became the best golfer in the country, constantly on tour, but a year later he found himself on the same course. Out of curiosity he went back into the woods, and sure enough the witch was still there, stirring her brew. "You again," she wheezed, looking up blearily. "How's your golf game?" He recited his latest triumphs on the circuit. "And your sex life?" The witch tittered malevolently, but her expression changed to surprise when he answered, "Not bad." "Not bad? How may times have you gotten laid this year?" The witch's curiosity had clearly gotten the best of her. "Three, maybe four times," answered the golfer. "And you call that not bad?" retorted the witch. "Actually, no" said the golfer modestly, "not for a Catholic priest with a very small congregation."