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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5755)	6/7/1998 11:48:00 PM
From: Jack Colton	Respond to of 62549

Rooster Troubles An old farmer decides that it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an O.K. job but he was getting on in years, and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barn yard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. "So they're trying to replace me," thinks the old rooster, "I've got to do something about this. He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you are the new stud in town?, I bet you really think you are hot stuff, don't you ? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird, and to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house. We'll run around it 10 times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster, "and since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap, I'll still win easy." So the two roosters go over the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathered around to watch. the race begins and the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he is still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster. By now the farmer has heard the commotion, he runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs to the barn yard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster slightly ahead in the lead, he immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. As he walks away slowly, he says to himself.......... "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5755)	6/7/1998 11:52:00 PM
From: Jack Colton	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Judi, the dumb blonde, enters an elevator, turns to a gentleman there, smiles and says, "T-G-I-F" to which he replies "S-H-I-T." Baffled, the Judi repeats "T-G-I-F." The gentleman smiles and responds: "S-H-I-T." The woman quizzically looks at the gentleman and says again "T-G-I-F." The man again replies "S-H-I-T." The woman explains to him what it means. "Sir, T-G-I-F stands for Thank God Its Friday." Ray replies," S-H-I-T" means "Sorry Honey. It's Thursday."