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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JEFF CHAPMAN who wrote (6066)	7/2/1998 9:12:00 PM
From: Scott Moody	Respond to of 62549

Deductive Reasoning: Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be > moving" > > New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely > friendly" > > Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?" > > New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive > reasoning" > > Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that? > > "New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house > out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog." > > Neighbor 1: "That is right" > > New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, Leads me to deduce that you > have a family. > > Neighbor 1: "Right again" > > New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife" > > Neighbor 1: "Correct" > > New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are > heterosexual" > > Neighbor 1: "Yup" > > New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning" > > Neighbor 1: "Cool" > > Later that same day > > Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door" > > Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?" > > Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job" > > Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?" > > Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University" > > > Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that" > > Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?" > > Neighbor 2: "No" > > Neighbor 1: "Fag."

To: JEFF CHAPMAN who wrote (6066)	7/2/1998 9:22:00 PM
From: Scott Moody	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Old Soldier: Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary . She was young, sweet, and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open and on leaving the room, she said. " Oh, Mr. Smith, did you know that your barracks door is open" He did not understand her remark, until later he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in , he asked " By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at attention?" She was quite witty. " Why, no Mr. Smith" she replied " All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags." Scott