Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Lacelle who wrote (6437)	8/12/1998 2:42:00 PM
From: vegetarian	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Got this from somewhere; original source unknown A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said. No contest hought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. "Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said. Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on." On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she said. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, a drop dead gorgeous beauty. "Screw me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound extremely ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his body. "Who are you?" the man asked. "Hello," said the ugly fat man, "I'm Cess."

To: John Lacelle who wrote (6437)	8/12/1998 8:35:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ They've found a new use for sheep in Iraq. WOOL! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ After just two days of driving through Mexico, Steve was sick and tired of Mexicans. "Damn wetbacks," he told his wife. "They hate Americans. I swear to God, the next one I see, I'm going to make that son of a bitch suffer!" As it happened, Steve's anger was such that he didn't look where he was going, and he rear-ended a brawny farmer in a pickup truck. The Mexican came over and leaned in Steve's window." "Hey, greengo--why did you heet my truck?" "Because I can't stand you or any other smelly Mexican greaseball!" Steve ranted. "In fact, if you're man enough, I'm going to come out and kick the shit out of you!" The Mexican motioned Steve out. "I make a deal weet you," he said. "If you ween, you take my truck. If I ween, not only do I fuck your wife, but you weel hold my balls to keep them off the hot street." The men agreed and fought. Later, Steve was smiling as he and his wife drove off. "I told you I'd make some Mexican suffer!" he gloated. His wife looked at him. "What the HELL are you talking about?!" Steve smiled. "Did you hear how he screamed when I dropped his balls on the asphalt?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What does a Polish girl do after she sucks a cock? Spit out the feathers. I hear a certain cereal company is test marketing a new version of "Nut'n Honey" cereal in the ghetto. It's called: "Nuttin' Bitch" What happens when a Jew with a hard-on walks into a wall? He breaks his nose. How do you get an Italian woman pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest! Why aren't there any significant works of art from Puerto Rican artists prior to 1957? That's the year spray paint was invented. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady called in to 911: Lady: Officer, there is a Democrat jacking off in my backyard! Cop: What's happening?!?! Lady: There is a Democrat jacking off in my backyard!!! Cop: How do you know he is a Democrat? Lady: Well, if he was a Republican he would be screwing someone else! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What did one gay sperm say to the other? How can you see through all this shit?! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The latest development in the Clinton - Lewinsky intrigue is the Monica had coughed up yet another piece of evidence!