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Pastimes : BARDonics (comical interpretation and perspective) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Harley Davidson who wrote (640)	10/7/1998 5:16:00 AM
From: Harley Davidson	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 733

Prison vs. Work... 1) In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. 2) In prison you get three meals a day. At work, you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. 3) In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. 4) At work, you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. 5) In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games. 6) In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained. 7) In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share. 8) In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, you cannot even speak to your family and friends. 9) In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners. 10)In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars. 11)In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work, there are some programs you can never get out of. 12)In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work, we have managers.

To: Harley Davidson who wrote (640)	10/26/1998 11:26:00 PM
From: Debra&Jeff	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 733

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX 10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some. 6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are. 5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy. 4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. 3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. 2) Less guilt the morning after. 1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. >