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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (7377)	10/19/1998 1:21:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

Thanks - I AGREE but didn't have the chutzpah to say so <bg>.

To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (7377)	10/19/1998 1:37:00 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62547

I'm a lawyer too. Perhaps that explains why we of similar training think a thread should be limited to what the opening post explains it should be. After all, that's logical, and logic seems to defy those who want to keep posting wavs. For a while the wavs went away and peace and happiness existed on this thread. All we had to put up with were jokes that had, on the average, been previously posted 5.5 times each. Oh, there were some exceptions. The lighthouse story must have been posted about 20 times. The parrot joke posted 12 times. Bill Gates and various MSFT version "jokes" probably 30 times. The Pillsbury Doughboy,...I could go on and on... But these, at least, were jokes or were at one time "funny" stories. I'm about ready to de-bookmark this thread anyway. I figure there's one joke I LOL at for every 75 posts, perhaps. I think I'll keep track starting now and post a report after the next 100 posts to let y'all know. Guess I should leave a joke or funny... Penis and Sex Facts" > > According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures > 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches. > > The Caramoja tribe of northern Uganda tie a weight on the end of their penises > to elongate them--sometimes to such a degree that the men literally have to > knot > them up--while the Mambas of New Hebrides wrap theirs in yards and yards of > cloth, making them look up to 17 inches long. > > In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. > Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed. > > Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love an average of > three times a night, every night, until their thirties, when the weekly > average drops > to a mere 14. > > The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has > been clocked at 156 miles per hour. > > A honeymooning couple are suing Holiday Inn for ten thousand dollars, claiming > their sex life is now dysfunctional because an employee mistakenly walked in > on them on their wedding night. > > At least 500 Americans die each year from asphyxia in an attempt to lessen > oxygen flow to the brain in order to induce a more powerful orgasm. > > England's King Edward VII, a man of considerable heft, had a special table > built so that he could comfortably engage in sexual intercourse. It was > considered elegant > for aristocratic ladies of the sixteenth century to let their pubic hair grow > as long as possible so it could be pomaded and adorned with bows and ribbon. > In fourteenth-century Europe, high-ranking noblemen were permitted to display > their genitals below a short tunic, while those not impressively endowed > could, if they chose, wear a leather falsie called a braquette. > > Given today's average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take the > typical American couple more than four years to try every one of the 529 > positions described in the Kama Sutra. > > French President Francois Faure expired in a bordello in 1899 during the act > of copulation, which so terrified his lady of the evening that her vagina > constricted > intractably, necessitating the surgical removal of the dead man's member. > > When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they > shake penises instead of hands. > > "There may be some things that are better than sex, and their may be some > things that are worse. But there is nothing exactly like it." --W.C. Fields