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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: gypsy who wrote (7496)	10/26/1998 10:45:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

Man takes dead father on last motorcycle ride Monday October 26 9:31 AM EDT dailynews.yahoo.com COPENHAGEN (Reuters) - A Danish man bade his dead father farewell by taking his corpse for a motorcycle ride over the weekend, stopping at a bar for beer and a cigar. Flemming Pedersen, 37, asked the staff at the hospital where his 86-year-old father died if he could be left alone with him for a while, the tabloid BT reported on Monday. Pederson dressed the rigid corpse in leather gear, boots, a helmet and dark sunglasses and walked it out of the hospital. Then he strapped the body to the seat of his Harley Davidson with elastic straps and drove around metropolitan Copenhagen for three hours, visiting his father's favorite spots. He stopped at a curbside bar, where he bought two beers and stuck a lit cigar between his dead father's lips. Pedersen said he had taken the last ride with his father to have a chat with him and that he felt good about it afterward.

To: gypsy who wrote (7496)	10/27/1998 10:50:00 AM
From: PMS Witch	Respond to of 62547

I found the drive pleasant. The roads were in good repair and the other drivers skilled and courteous. In Ontario, everyone prefers to drive in the centre lane no matter what their speed. Lately, the transport trucks hog this lane too. Cross the border, and drivers seem to know which lane is appropriate and that speed signs post maximums and not a suggested minimum speed to maintain while talking over the cell-phone or reading a map. PW. Saw a morning smile: How to tell an American from a Canadian? Say they're the same and the Canadian will argue.

To: gypsy who wrote (7496)	10/27/1998 11:38:00 AM
From: doby	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62547

Reminds me of a trip to alberta once. They sure talk funny there too. <ggg> mikey

To: gypsy who wrote (7496)	10/27/1998 8:16:00 PM
From: Chuck Williams	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62547

He'd better watch out next time he travels to Detroit. I'm on the road and boy, am I pissed! 23 BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN METRO DETROIT 1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels. 2. Turn signals are clues as to your next move. A real Detroit driver never uses them. 3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is considered "going with the flow." 5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 6. Never get in the way of a older car that needs extensive body work. Michigan is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose. 7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your ABS kicks in giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. 8. Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the traffic begins to back up. 9. The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Detroit look high-tech and to distract you from seeing the Redford police car parked in the median. 10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway. 11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour. 12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Detroit driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 13. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Detroit. 14. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 15. Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the existing litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-highway crews something to clean up. 16. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially pickup truck drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge or Chevy logo.) 17. Learn to swerve abruptly. Detroit is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to MDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes. 18. It is traditional in Detroit to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. 19. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. 20. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. 21. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are Gods way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junk yards, and new vehicle sales. After all, this is the "motor" city and we do have our priorities. 22. Remember that the goal of every Detroit driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary. 23. Real Detroit women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Real Detroit men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.