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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (7659)	11/6/1998 9:25:00 PM
From: Patriarch	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

The Top 13 Changes Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers 13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster. 12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera. 11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema. 10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners-- Hey, wait a minute... 9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school. 8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women. 7> January 20: Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids 6> Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house. 5> During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair. 4> Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal. 3> Strom Thurmond finally removed by The Undertaker. 2> Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial. and the Number 1 Change Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers... 1> Before: Mr. Vice President After: Stone Cold Al Gore

To: John Messbauer who wrote (7659)	11/8/1998 5:35:00 PM
From: Mr Bond	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Man of the Year Award Apparently a true story from SKY TV in the UK. This guy should be awarded man of the year. Appeared in Sky Magazine (UK) a few months ago - who says the 90's man isn't caring and sensitive? From Laura, 24: "Last year at a Christmas party, I got off with this gorgeous bloke called Tony. He was a real arrogant git, but I've always been attracted to bastards. Little did I know this bloke was the biggest shit imaginable. We went back to my place and he pounced on me straightaway. Within minutes, he was shagging me frantically from behind on the sofa. I began to think that doing it that way was really impersonal. 'Let me turn around, I want to see your face,' I slurred in my drunken state. But Tony just carried on regardless. I tried to move round myself, but he held me in place, grunting something about his jeans round his ankles making it difficult to move. I was getting well cheesed off and I could feel he was about to finish. I suddenly found myself groaning, 'I want to see your face as you cum.' I felt him reach down into his pocket and just as he reached orgasm, he thrust his bus pass in front of my face. I stared miserably at a passport photo of the git as he shot his load behind me."