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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: dick williams who wrote (7874)	11/21/1998 6:31:00 PM
From: Jeff	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62550

let the dude finish his walk.......... calgary.shaw.wave.ca

To: dick williams who wrote (7874)	11/21/1998 9:09:00 PM
From: george wood	Respond to of 62550

An airhead goes for a job interview at Revlon. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The airhead counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 24!" The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!" This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Monica!" The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "What were you doing when I asked you your name?" "Ohhhh, that!" replies the airhead," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' ".

To: dick williams who wrote (7874)	11/22/1998 8:58:00 PM
From: KM	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

Confucious Says: "Man who run in front of car get tired." "Man who run behind car get exhausted." "Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly." "Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!" "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ." "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok." "Man with one chopstick go hungry." "Man trapped in whorehouse get jerked around." "Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!" "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left." "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse." "Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night." "If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people." "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!" "It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it." "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!" "Man who sit on tack get point!" "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!" "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement" "Boy who go to bed with sexual problems wake up with solution in hand" "He who fish in other man's well often catch crabs." And last but not least: Man who fart in church, sit in pew.