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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (7906)	11/25/1998 12:45:00 PM
From: Exacctnt	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

A list of summer camps you might want to avoid sending your kids to: Monica Lewinsky's...............Camp Suckaweewee President Clinton's...............Camp Getahoochie Ellen DeGeneres'.................Camp Lickacoochie Kenneth Starr's....................Camp Catchacrook O.J. Simpson's....................Camp Killachick Lorena Bobbitt's...................Camp Cutaweewee Tonya Harding's...................Camp Clubaknee Susan Smith's.....................Camp Blameabrotha Tommy Lee's.......................Camp Kickachick Michael Jackson's................Camp Wannabeawhitety Louis Farakahn's..................Camp Killawhitety

To: Tomato who wrote (7906)	11/25/1998 7:17:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail when they decided to take a rest. Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. "Buffalo come," remarked Tonto. "How can you tell, Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger. "Face sticky." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There was a man who was fed up with modern society, and decided to Become a Monk. He checked out a number of monasteries and chose one he liked. The only reservation he had with it was, he had to take a vow of silence and could only say two words every one year. He took the vow and began his first year of service without saying a word. At the end of one long year he was brought before the head of the monastery and was asked what two words he would like to say. His response was "FOOD BAD." And that was it for another long year, until he was once again allowed to say another two words. After two years of service he was brought before the head of the monastery and was asked what two words he would like to say. His response was: "MORE BLANKETS." And that was it for another long year, until he was once again allowed to say another two words. After three years of service he was brought before the head of the monastery and asked what two words he would like to say. His response was: "I QUIT!" The head Monk answered back: "You might as well. You have done nothing but complain since you have been here!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man walked into the drug store and shyly asked the pretty girl behind the counter if he could buy some condoms. Seeing his discomfort, the girl decided to have some fun. She asked what size he needed. He said he didn't really know. So the girl said they come in three sizes, and that there were three holes in the fence outside that they used for sizing tests. He should go outside and put his tool to the test. When he went outside, the girl sneaked around the fence. When he put his tool through the first hole, she caught him and gave him a handjob. When he put his tool in the second hole, she gave him a blowjob. When he put his tool in the third hole, she had her pants down and she took him inside herself. When he was finished, the girl ran around the front. He walked up and she asked, "So, what size do you need?" He answered, "I've decided not to buy any condoms; but I do want 8 feet of that fence!"