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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8078)	12/13/1998 11:11:00 PM
From: X Y Zebra	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Little Timmy's Train A couple of days after Christmas, Little Timmy's mom was working in the kitchen while her son was playing with his new train set in the living room. When the train stopped she heard Timmy say, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now. All of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train now, because we're leaving." Mom stormed into the living room. "How many times have I told you not to use that sort of language? Now march upstairs to your room and stay there for two hours. When you come down you may play with your trains again -- as long as you use proper language." Mom was still working in the kitchen when Timmy came down from his room two hours later. This time, when the train stopped, Mom heard: "All passengers who are disembarking, please remember to take all of your belongings. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was pleasant. For those just boarding, we ask you to stow your carry-ons under the seat, and we hope you enjoy your trip. For those of you who are pissed off about the two-hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8078)	12/17/1998 9:26:00 AM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A blonde a brunnette and a red head all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day the red head had painted 3 miles the bruenette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles. The boss was so exited he told her to keep it up and the job was hers. The next day the red head painted 5 miles and the bruenette 5.6 miles and the blonde 4 miles he told her not to worry youstill have a good lead. So, on the third day the red hed had painted 6 miles the bruenette 5 miles and the blond only one mile. The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good". She said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away".