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To: Tomato who wrote (8487)	1/19/1999 12:32:00 AM
From: ToolManInc	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Dear Cassius, > > Are you still working on the Y-zero-K problem? > > This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't > much time left. > > I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. > Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start > thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it > earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute. I > spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done > something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he > could see why Brutus turned nasty. > > We called in the consulting astrologers, but they simply said that > continuing downwards using minus BC won't work. As usual, the > consultants charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. As for myself, > I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards. > > We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who have been > working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's > all over. Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of > transition. > > Anyway we are still continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem > and I will send you a parchment if anything further develops. > > Vale, > Plutonius > > >

To: Tomato who wrote (8487)	1/19/1999 8:44:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

digido.com

To: Tomato who wrote (8487)	1/19/1999 3:59:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Respond to of 62549

Subject: 2 New Elements The Elements Two new chemical elements have recently been discovered. Here for the first time is a description of their properties. Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. ------------------------------- Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.