Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (1380)	2/11/1999 11:11:00 PM
From: Naggrachi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Using your post to post the following: >>Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let >>her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, >>her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with >>everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two >>conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. >> >>"What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, >>and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." >>Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. >> >>The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. >>Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and >>very satisfied. >> >>"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was >>supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" >>"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." >> >>"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" >>"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...." >>________________________________________ >>Did you hear that Captain Hook died from >>jock itch? >>________________________________________ >> >>Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through >>the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and >>then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!" >>__________________________________________ >> >>Little Red Riding Hood was walking through >>the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree >>and, holding a machete to her throat, said, >>"Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" >> >>To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket >>and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and >>said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, >>just like it says in the book!" >>__________________________________________ >> >>Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said >>to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." >> >>Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she >>is ***kin' Goofy," >>__________________________________________ >> >>Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about >>splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to >>visit Gepetto to see if he could help. >> >>Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper >>wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away >>enlightened. >> >>A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through >>town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" >> >>Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (1380)	2/12/1999 7:16:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

I found out the way the trick works. To be honest, it was just not being visually alert on my part. The suits of the cards are all changed. Still, it was a very interesting site. Regards, John

To: The Philosopher who wrote (1380)	2/14/1999 1:01:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

The Dentist A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands. The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!' Flabergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing! How did you figure that out ?' The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands' One thing led to another. They migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. After they were done, the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!' The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??' The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing'

To: The Philosopher who wrote (1380)	2/14/1999 1:17:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

Mans Best Friend...(or so we thought) Three Labrador retrievers - a brown, yellow and black - are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the brown and says, "So why are you here?" The brown lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything - the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything." He then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab says, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a grea big hole in my owner's couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow lab then turns to the black lab and asks what he's at the vet's office for. "I'm a humper," the black lab says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself, I hopped on her back and started humping away." The yellow and brown labs exchange a sad glance and say, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?" The black lab says, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."