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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: I Know Nada who wrote (8677)	2/12/1999 4:17:00 PM
From: Patrick	Respond to of 62549

Bear Warning: BEARS This important message was from the desk of the Principal Acquisitions Librarian Stanford University Libraries Acting in her capacity as Librarian she acquired this notice from the Montana Department of Fish and Game Important notice! Montana grizzly bear notice: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings (scat). Black bear scat is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

To: I Know Nada who wrote (8677)	2/12/1999 4:21:00 PM
From: Patrick	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Barnyard Lesson: There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight. Unfortunately he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when he hit the floor. Dead. The moral to the story is: Never fly off the handle when you're full of crap.