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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8681)	2/13/1999 6:19:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Respond to of 62562

Middle Age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. Then: Killer Weed Now: Weed Killer Then: The Grateful Dead Now: Dr. Kevorkian Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it's cool Now: Moving to California because it's warm Then: Being called into the principal's office Now: Storming into the principal's office Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: OJ, cutting & slashing Now: OJ, cutting & slashing Then: Getting your head stoned Now: Getting your headstone Then: "The Making of the President" Now: The making of the President Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President Now: Fighting to keep the lying President Then: The perfect high Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund Then: Elvis in the army Now: Elvis in a UFO Then: Keg Now: EKG Then: Swallowing acid Now: Swallowing antacid Then: pothead Now: potbelly Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Then: Passing the driving test Now: Passing the vision test Then: Seeds and stems Now: Roughage Then: Popping pills, smoking joints Now: Popping joints Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

To: John Messbauer who wrote (8681)	2/13/1999 6:23:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62562

Accountant A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that read: Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: Dear Husband (that's what she called him): I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy. You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.