Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (8693)	2/15/1999 2:12:00 PM
From: Denice	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

I believe I told you to hold your breath until you got it. I figured you be dead and gone by now therefore leaving me no reason to send the check. And you thought a woman was incapable of reasoning (g). Denice

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (8693)	2/15/1999 3:21:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

There goes ole greedy guts!

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (8693)	2/15/1999 10:51:00 PM
From: Neenny	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Len, posting this to you is like pour gasoline on a fire......but here goes..... Husband and Wife... A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband asks, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. As she emerges from the fitting room wearing the third outfit, he tells his wife, "We'll take all three of them." He then leads her to the shoe department, telling her to get matching shoes (worth $200 a pair) for each outfit. From there, he goes to the jewelry department, where he picks out a set of diamond earrings. The wife is SO excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care. While in the jewelry department, she asks him for a tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis, but okay, if you like it, then let's get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register." The husband says. "No -- no -- no. Honey, we're not going to BUY all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No Honey - I just want you to HOLDthis stuff for a while." Her face gets really red and she is about to explode... The husband smiles and then replies, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!"

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (8693)	2/16/1999 12:30:00 AM
From: Neenny	Respond to of 62549

Maybe this joke is more your style...... that is of course if marriage was ever an issue..... It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest w/the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your dress up your thighs ... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in w/the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."