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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Neenny who wrote (9040)	3/25/1999 9:29:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

What is a cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. They whine when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere. They drive you nuts, and they cost you an arm and a leg. Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.

To: Neenny who wrote (9040)	3/25/1999 9:37:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

What is a dog? Dogs lie around all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening in the next room, but don't hear you when you're in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to be alone, they want to play. When they want to be alone, you want to play. They are great at begging. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. They leave their toys lying around everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths, and then want to kiss you. Conclusion: They're little men in fur coats.

To: Neenny who wrote (9040)	3/27/1999 8:45:00 PM
From: Don Pueblo	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62549

A woman offered to sell her neighbor a new dog. "This is a talking dog," she said, "and you can have him for five dollars." The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such animal." Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, madam," he pleaded, "this woman is cruel. She never fixes my meals, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times. I'm the smartest dog in the world!" "Hey!" said the neighbor. "He really can talk! Why do you want to sell him?" "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies."