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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (1888)3/30/1999 8:33:00 PM
From: treetopflier  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 2733
 
Yukon Lil

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome
miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon.
"I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest
whore in Fairbanks!" he said to the bartender.

"We got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's Yukon Lil,
upstairs in the second room on the right."

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for
the Lil and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up
the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and
yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest
whore in Fairbanks!"

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said,
"You found her! I'm called Yukon Lil." Then she stripped
naked, bent over, and grabbed her ankles.

"How do you know I want to do it in that position?"
asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might
like to open them beers first."

ttf



To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (1888)3/31/1999 9:24:00 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 2733
 
awwww...poor guy...

The elderly man was at home, upstairs dying in
bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate
chip cookies baking.

He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell
out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the
stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was
busily baking cookies.

With his last remaining strength he crawled to the
table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm
to the cookie sheet.

As he grasped a warm, moist, chocolate chip cookie,
his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand
with a spatula.

Why? he whispered, Why did you do that?

"They're for the funeral.", she replied.