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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dayuhan who wrote (33661)	4/4/1999 7:28:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Who is happier, a man who is married to a woman who adores him, or a man who is married to a woman he adores? For purposes of this question, assume that he loves, but does not adore, the woman who adores him, and that the woman he adores loves, but does not adore him.

To: Dayuhan who wrote (33661)	4/4/1999 8:05:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

<< The operative word here is command, and this is why so many women settle for mediocre men. They would rather have a mediocre man that adores them and views them as inherently superior, and can thus be commanded, than a superior one who would dare to treat them as an equal. The safety of knowing that a man is theirs to own and control outweighs the ego-gratification of association with superiority.>> I didn't mean 'command,' as in control, i meant 'command' as in "to deserve and receive as due." Were you being somewhat facetious, though? I don't think women in general would rather have a man who adored them than one who is has 'superior' characteristics that would cause her genes to whisper to her, "Get him! He'd take care of your offspring well! He'd have good genes to pass on to them, too! Look how strong he is, and how symmetrical, and notice how his teeth and car and clothing and height and manners and accent and air of confidence all imply that he's a winner (or going to be one)!... Fall in love with him, go ahead, fall in love!" I don't think there is any reason to think that superior men are more likely to treat women as equals than mediocre ones, unless you build that into the definition of superior. 'Superior' individuals may demonstrate more noblesse oblige, having more noblesse to oblige with, and presumably more social confidence, and so less fear of appearing disadvantaged. I'm speaking in generalizations. Of course there are neurotic individuals who assess prospective partners in all sorts of atypical ways. They may seek a drunk or a batterer or a partner they can dominate and then hate for being submissive or one who is so unlikely to succeed in life that he/she will never have the opportunity to move on and leave him/her behind. All that psychological stuff. I think the situation you describe, the one in which the safety of knowing that a man is theirs to own and control outweighs the ego-gratification of association with superiority is probably in that category. In other words, that that woman is psychologically atypical, even damaged. But anyway, i did mean 'command' and in 'get,' not as in order around. Some study indicated that as far as IQ is concerned, women are likely to marry up and men down.