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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (35040)	4/16/1999 11:56:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Well, dominance/submission games is (are?) the fastest growing sexual subculture. Maybe I mean tendency. Look what happens when a person just tries to do scientific research on this thread. They are abused, belittled, humiliated, insulted and mistreated! Oh, maybe that was over on Rambi's thread. Anyway, no way is anyone going to talk about that id stuff in personal detail.

To: Ilaine who wrote (35040)	4/17/1999 6:52:00 AM
From: Dayuhan	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

I think men get excited by women exerting dominion over them, which excites women. As an occasional game, sure, why not; all kind of things can be exciting. I'm not sure I'd want to make a career of it, though. The possibility of relating without dominion, of freedom from the obligations inherent in dominion and the burden inherent in being dominated, excites me more than dominion in either direction would. For one thing, the absence of dominion in day to day life opens up all kinds of pleasing possibilities for occasional experimentation. But yes; I do think dominion excites women, and not entirely because the possibility of occasional subjection excites men. Most people get in some degree excited by dominion, and women get fewer chances than men do; though if truth be told the average male does not get very many chances at all. All very theoretical, of course.

To: Ilaine who wrote (35040)	4/17/1999 9:40:00 AM
From: jbe	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

Does it really matter what women want, or what men want? They are not likely to get it, anyway...<gg> Quite seriously, I become very uncomfortable when "love" (or just plain sex) is discussed in terms of the "power relationship". And not just because the ultimate expression of "dominion" (read domination) is rape. But, more crucially, because it calls in question the very possibility of "love" generally (non-sexual as well as sexual), leaving us with nothing but separate egos (and/or ids) vying for supremacy. We have all run across the argument that "love" is just one more expression of selfishness, the desire to "own" someone else (lover, husband, wife, child, friend, pet, or whatever). To say that women, or men, seek "dominion" essentially confirms that argument. But what do I know? :-) Joan