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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9359)	4/21/1999 8:00:00 PM
From: Arthur Radley	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9359)	4/22/1999 5:55:00 PM
From: Arthur Radley	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

A Good Lesson For Us All! The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican >village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the >small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented >the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to >catch them. > >The Mexican replied only a little while. > >The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more >fish? > >The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. > >The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? > >The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my >children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each >evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full >and busy life, senor." > >The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You >should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, >with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, >eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling >your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, >eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, >processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal >fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC >where you will run your expanding enterprise." > >The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?" > >To which the American replied, "15-20 years." > >But what then, senor? > >The American laughed and said that's the best part. When the time is >right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the >public and become very rich, you would make millions. > >Millions, senor? Then what? > >The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal >fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with >your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in >the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your >amigos."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (9359)	4/24/1999 10:05:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart