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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Arthur Radley who wrote (10023)	5/29/1999 8:38:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't they have baseball stadiums in Poland? Everyone would be sitting behind a pole! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q. What do you do with a women that thinks she's God's gift to men? A. Exchange her.

To: Arthur Radley who wrote (10023)	5/30/1999 6:48:00 PM
From: Asymmetric	Respond to of 62549

Feeling Fine Farmer Ron decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take a trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Ron. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer. Farmer Ron responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Patsy, into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" Farmer Ron said, "Well, I had just got Patsy into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Ron's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Patsy." Ron thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Patsy, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Patsy was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Patsy moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Patsy moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your cow was in such bad shape I had to shoot her...how are you feeling?