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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (39216)	6/5/1999 3:06:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

You would do what melinda did, when she was offended by Blue's California crack, essentially. And Blue, I want to point out that you accused Lather of calling you, personally, a liar, thief and cheat. Mel didn't do an equivalent of that, and she didn't tell you, only slightly obliquely, to go f@ck yourself. Blue, you got mad, and were way harsh.

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (39216)	6/5/1999 3:23:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

For the record, I did not tell you to go fuck yourself. I said, and this is verifiable, Ah, fuck, I don't need this. I know you know the difference.

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (39216)	6/5/1999 5:51:00 PM
From: jpmac	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 108807

I'm rather beyond deep thought and putting words together in a meaningful fashion and you're at the beach, but here goes... "mis-post. sorry." is obscure. You posted by mistake? You're sorry you hurt her? You're sorry there are waves in the calm sea? I wouldn't know what you meant. You're second apology was followed by a disclaimer, a "but you did..." An unconditional apology gives the recipient an opportunity to weigh its truth and accept or reject it. One followed with a "but" takes away from the genuineness of the apology. After the hoped for acceptance, then the other things can be hashed out. Something personal was said to CB through at least one of those quotes. At least when it is taken out of context. The kill 'em one, that is. You know well that there are jokes abounding about killing lawyers. That's not funny and things don't get anymore personal that that. When a person has been the subject not of humor or satire but of cruel intentions and thoughts cloaked in humor by cowards, a person can get a bit testy. So if something is said by someone that you consider a friend, a co-patriot, it can touch a deep well. Yes, I could see that CB could/should apologize for the Fyou part, though it was not a personal attack, but a get out of my face remark. But to do so before you have genuinely apologized, without reservation and with understanding, then it'd be hard to do. I would make the apology anyway but take into account that I didn't consider I'd ever really gotten one from you. Certainly not understanding. I've been chased down the street by three men intent on bashing a queer. I've been harrassed by KKK boys in the south. I've had my life threatened by a man that hates queers, and followed and harrassed by him for two years with his death threat always there. I've listened to the jokes not from friends but from people that hate queers. Really, really hate them. That want to "kill 'em all". If you said something, even innocently, I might lash at you. I look to my friends for refuge, saftey, caring. Not for the danger and hatred that I face in the world. So you, as a friend, might be the one that got a dose of anger from the hurt that hearing it from you would cause. So I can understand where CB was coming from. I would hope that we'd make up. I would hope I believed you when you said you hadn't understood that "killing 'em all" isn't funny. And if I did, I'd tell you a joke... You know what a lesbian's third date is? Renting a U-Haul. Okay, maybe you need to know a bunch of lesbians to get that one. <g>