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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tom_ who wrote (10260)	6/13/1999 10:56:00 PM
From: Chip Anderson	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Not exactly jokes, but some of these are funny none-the-less. My favorite is #6. Chip stockcharts.com ==================================== ( Answers below ) 1. How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper. 2. How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen? 3. A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship. The rungs are one foot apart and the ladder is 12 feet long. The tide is rising at four inches an hour. How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are underwater? 4. Which would you rather have, a trunk full of nickels or a trunk half full of dimes? 5. Steve has three piles of sand and Mike has four piles of sand. All together, how many do they have? 6. In which sport are the shoes made entirely of metal? 7. If the Vice-President of the United States should die, who would be President? 8. How can you throw a golf ball with all your might and -- without hitting a wall or any other obstruction -- have the ball stop and come right back to you? 9. According to most state laws, the attempt to commit a certain crime is punishable, but actually committing the crime is not. What is the crime? 10. Find the English word that can be formed from all these letters: PNLLEEEESSSSS ******************************* Answers: 1A. Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the bit of newspaper on their side of the door. 2A. There are twelve (not four). 3A. Actually, the ladder will rise with the ship! 4A. Dimes are smaller than nickels, so choose the dimes! 5A. If they put them all together, there will be one pile. 6A. Horse racing. 7A. The President. 8A. Throw the ball straight up. 9A. Suicide 10A. Sleeplessness =============================== Chip stockcharts.com

To: Tom_ who wrote (10260)	6/14/1999 10:26:00 PM
From: dougb 1	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

You might be redneck Jedi if . . . You ever heard the phrase, "May the Force be with y'all." Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Bud Light. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. You have ever had a landspeeder up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookies are offended by your BO You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for halftime. You have ever used the Jedi mind trick on a game warden. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the Dark Side . . . it'll be a hoot. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. You have the doors of your X-Wing fighter welded shut and you have to get in through the window. You have a cousin or girlfriend who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. Duct tape is holding your lightsaber together. You have wondered how much a taxidermist would charge you to do a Wampa from Hoth. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels in the Mos Eisley cantina. You've ever heard . . . "Luke, I'm you father . . . and your uncle.